


Scaly Situations

by GeminiMoon14



Series: Adventures of an Unfortunate Bard [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Damsels in Distress, Dirty Jokes, Flirting, Gen, Hostage Situations, Hurt/Comfort, I mean Scanlan, Kidnapping, Minor Scanlan Shorthalt/Pike Trickfoot, Only if you squint - Freeform, Poison, Poison Apples, dragon - Freeform, only one, towers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24906100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeminiMoon14/pseuds/GeminiMoon14
Summary: They had faced many such dangers before, hell they had even slain two, two, white dragons. What they faced now was practically... ridiculous. For lack of an apt description, Scanlan had put his money where his mouth was and it turned out his mouth was worth more than the money.
Relationships: Scanlan Shorthalt & Grog Strongjaw, Scanlan Shorthalt & Pike Trickfoot, Scanlan Shorthalt & Vax'ildan, Scanlan Shorthalt & Vox Machina
Series: Adventures of an Unfortunate Bard [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983430
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	Scaly Situations

They had faced many such dangers before, hell they had even slain two,  _ two _ , white dragons. What they faced now was practically... ridiculous. For lack of an apt description, Scanlan had put his money where his mouth was and it turned out his mouth was worth more than the money.

Dragons, vicious nasty creatures that terrorized the land and its inhabitants. The members of Vox Machina had faced a few at this point including two white dragons and at least one blue dragon that had proved vicious. Somehow they had once more been tasked with getting rid of a dragon. 

They were given little information about it other than it having driven people out of a fortress and terrorizing the countryside. They had been offered a, rather generous, sum upon completion of the contract. The plan was simple: Vax and Scanlan would creep inside to scope out the space, the others would wait to hear back and prepare themselves to ambush the creature, and hopefully they would kill it and collect the bounty.

The key term being  _ was _ . The plan started how it was expected, Scanlan turned invisible and Vax’s cloak hid him from all sight. They entered the keep and crept through the halls, seemingly unnoticed. Vax turned right while Scanlan walked up the stairs straight forward.

The keep itself was actually beautiful and in great condition. The arches were intricately carved, hints of elven designs blending into the architecture, and the floors had murals that spiralled towards one another in flowered patterns. Tapestries lined the walls with imagery of nobility that had once commanded forces here.

While admiring the artwork, Scanlan stumbled into a grand hall filled with treasures. There were gold pieces stacked into huge piles, jewelry and silks scattered amongst the piles of coins. The torches’ light reflected off the riches that composed what must have been the horde of their quarry. 

As he wandered through the treasure, he tapped his earring and whispered, “I just found the motherload. Vex is going to love it here.” He heard the voices drift into his ear asking about where he was but before he could answer there was a low rumble. 

He froze as a voice, feminine in nature, growled, “What brings such a...  _ delicate _ little morsel into my home?” Scanlan remained quiet as the voice told him, “Oh come now, I know you’re here. I can smell fear and I don’t like little sneak thieves trying to hide from me.” 

The bard licked his lips in fear before dropping his invisibility, hands raised, and calling out, “You got me but, I am no sneak thief!” He heard coins clinking as entire piles shifted beneath the weight of a large creature. Trying to follow the noise, Scanlan turned in circles as the voice inquired, “Oh, then what are you, little morsel?” He swallowed thickly as he answered, “A seeker of beauty and power and I’ve heard tales of a dragon that was the embodiment of beauty and power.”

There was an amused snort, though it sounded more like a growl, as the sound of coins sliding against one another grew closer and he could see the dragon reveal itself. It’s eyes honed in on the gnome’s form and the smell of ozone hit him as it made itself known. The dragon huffed, a crackling noise coming from its jaws, and asked, “Well? Is this what you seek, little one?”

Scanlan swallowed as he replied, “How could whatever I seek compare to what stands before me?! Scales that make the brightest sapphires dull in comparison and a powerful figure that must have won thousands of battles! What treasures could possibly compare to the absolutely stunning visage that stands before me?!” The dragon huffed as it watched the gnome as she stated, “Your praises are heavy, morsel.”

He gave her an offended look as he retorted, “They are only heavy if they are meant to be deceitful, I am truthful in my words as I am sure they are the truth.” The dragon’s head lowered until he was staring directly into the eye of the blue dragon. 

For a tense moment, there was only silence between them as Scanlan’s earring rang with the concern of his sudden silence. Finally. the dragon pulled its head back and a giant claw grabbed the gnome. He let out a yelp of surprise as the dragon stared him down and posed, “What will you do now that you have found me, little one?”

He gave it a smile as he replied, “Why spread word of your legacy as I do with these things. Sing your tale to every town so that they may know of your devastating power and incomparable beauty.” The dragon carried him to a pile of silks and pillows, set him down, and asked, “You sing? I think I would like to hear something. It’s been an awfully long time since I’ve heard a song.”

Scanlan watched as the dragon laid itself between the piles of gold and blocked all pathways to the exit. He saw a few instruments off to the side, pulled a lute into his lap, and sang a few notes of a song he had learned as a child.

As he played, the dragon’s eyes dilated and it seemed to sigh happily, the sound of lightning barely restrained accompanying it. When he finished the tune, he could almost swear it looked delighted. It purred as the feminine voice called, “Wonderful! Truly wonderful! I haven't heard such beauty in a long time!” 

The dragon placed its head beside the pile of silks and decreed, “I have decided! My name is Audra, Lady of the Storm but, you may address me as Mistress. I hereby claim you as my minstrel.” His jaw dropped as she almost grinned and told him, “It’s a great honor to serve such a powerful dragon, be thankful that my love of music outweighs the temptation of a quick snack.”

Scanlan wiped the shocked look from his face as he told her, “It is indeed a great honor but, how would I spread word of your triumphs if I’m to be kept here?” She smirked, actually smirked, and answered, “I am the only one who deserves to hear such wonderful things put into songs and I wish to keep them. I get what I want and what I want is to have your beautiful melodies all to myself.” He swallowed nervously as he gave her a bow and told her, “As you wish, Mistress.”

Scanlan had been quiet for too long. After he told them he found something, he went silent. That in itself is not as suspicious, trouble often occured at the most inopportune time, but it was Scanlan who had decided to go quiet. 

Vex placed a finger to her earring and asked, “Brother, do you know where Scanlan went?” There was a short pause before he whispered, “No clue. He was invisible, remember?” She rolled her eyes and told him, “Go look for him, let us know if he needs help.” There was no response except for an annoyed sigh.

Vax maneuvered quietly through the halls, keeping an eye out for anything that could link to why Scanlan had not responded yet. Eventually, he came across a staircase and followed it into the same grand hall his friend had found. This time though he spotted the mass of blue scales and heard the sound of a soft tune. 

He crept away from the entrance and whispered, “I found him and so did the dragon.” There was a long silence when there was a clamor of voices asking if their bard was dead and mourning the loss of the gnome. He sighed and answered, “He’s not dead, yet. It seems he’s managed to talk himself into its favor.” 

There were heavy sighs of relief as Vex asked, “How do we get him out of there? What kind of dragon is it?” He glanced back into the room as he replied, “Blue. I’m not sure but I’ll stay here and keep you posted.”

Scanlan watched as Audra’s eyes slowly closed and she told him, “Such magnificent tunes, I wish I had found you years ago.” He gave her a nervous chuckle as he said, “I wouldn’t be so good had you found me then.” She smirked as she stretched, her wings flaring as she did so, and growled, “Maybe so but, at least I’d have had some...  _ entertainment _ while at rest.”

She plucked him up with her claws and held him in front of her face as she told him, “The hour grows late. It is time for rest, little one.” He looked down at the pile he had been perched on and asked, “Where will I be resting, Milady?” She seemed pleased at the title and told him, “Someplace safe, my minstrel.” Scanlan swallowed nervously as she carried him out of the hall.

She made her way through the courtyard towards a tower and Scanlan’s stomach turned cold. She smiled as she set him down near the entrance and ordered, “Follow the staircase.” He took a few steps forward and the door slammed behind him. 

Seeing no other path to take, Scanlan followed the stairs to a single door that was left open. The room was well kept, the floor covered in pillows and a small staircase within the room that led to a large bed. It had a table and a few chairs in front of a large archway that led to a balcony of the same size.

He heard a loud huff as Audra’s voice called to him, “This will be yours to do with as you please. Servants will provide you with food and your performances will be at my call. Rest well, my minstrel.” The door locked in place with a loud click, much like a deadbolt, and suddenly Scanlan was left alone with the realization he had accidentally talked a dragon into making him part of her hoard.

Vax saw the dragon pick the bard up and herd him into a tower. He remained a distance away as he observed the dragon start its return to its hoard. He quickly left the area and made his way towards the entrance of the fortress. As he hurried he whispered, “It hasn’t killed him but it locked him in a tower. Does anyone have some sort of rope?” There was silence as Percy gave him a disbelieving, “He’s what?!” Vax rolled his eyes as he replied, “Locked in a tower, cliché but effective.”

He almost swore he could feel the amusement of the others as he asked again, “Do we have any rope or a method of getting up there?” There was quiet until they heard Scanlan’s voice whisper, “There’s a large balcony if that helps.” Vax clutched at his earring as he asked, “Are you okay?! Do you have an idea?” 

Scanlan’s voice came through as he quietly replied, “I’m alright for now. I’m just locked in. She locked the fucking door!” There was another pause as Keyleth remarked, “That means there’s more than just the dragon.” The bard whispered again, “She told me that servants would bring me food. I haven’t seen them yet but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.” 

Vax could practically hear the gears in his sister’s head turning as she stated, “Okay, so we’ve got the dragon, unknown servants, and Scanlan who’s trapped in a tower. How the hell did you manage that.” Scanlan went quiet for a moment before he answered, “I have a gift with words that she couldn’t ignore.” Vax resisted snickering as his sister sighed and remarked, “I don’t know why I bothered to ask.” 

Keyleth chimed in and said, “What if I turn into an eagle and carry you out of there?” Scanlan stayed quiet as he walked out onto the balcony and said, “Possible but I don’t know how long we have before she wants another performance or when she’ll be back.” Vax nodded and told Keyleth, “We’ll have to do this quickly. Let’s get started.” 

Keyleth took a deep breath as she used Wild Shape to take on the form of a giant eagle and took off into the evening air. She spotted Scanlan on the balcony, looking around for any sign of their target. She followed his lead and kept an eye out for anything that would reveal the blue dragon. When she saw none, she dove towards the gnome.

Scanlan was keeping watch on the balcony for any sign of Audra when large claws grabbed his shoulder. He covered his mouth and suppressed a scream as the familiar eagle form took hold of him. Keyleth gave him a small squawk before lifting him into the air. As Keyleth flew over the hold, something went taught as Scanlan was nearly ripped from her talons.

The eagle attempted to tug Scanlan back into her grip. She glanced down to see something similar to a shadowy smoke coalesce around his body and tether his body to the fortress. Scanlan tried to tear the shadows off his body but his hands simply went through the material. 

Keyleth let out an angry screech as she flew back towards the tower and landed back on the balcony. The smoke dropped and faded back into the shadows as a voice hissed, “Stay.” Keyleth turned into herself as she asked, “What was that?!” Scanlan stared at the shadows as he answered, “I have no clue. What the fuck?!” 

Scanlan activated the earring and whispered, “New plan, aerial rescue will  _ not _ work.” Keyleth glared at the shadows as she whispered, “Found the servants.” Scanlan turned to the druid and asked, “Can you even leave now?” Her eyes went wide as she whispered, “I don’t know.”

Quickly, she shifted back to the eagle form and flew off. The shadows did not follow her as she made her way over the keep and back to the group. Scanlan watched in shock as he grasped the earring and said, “She’s coming back. Apparently, I’m the only thing they’re trying to keep here. We’re gonna need another plan.”

The evening passed without event. Scanlan made use of the bed and waited to hear back from his friends. All he could hear was silence but he still took comfort in that he had his earring. Despite his attempted escape last night, there was still a platter of food waiting for him. He looked at it suspiciously as he gave an apple a sniff. Nothing seemed to be wrong with it, so he tucked into his pocket for later and grabbed a peach.

As he ate, he heard large steps approach the tower and a feminine voice rang out, “I hope you slept well, minstrel. I wish to hear another tune, finish eating so that you can perform.” Wiping his lips, Scanlan finished his last bite of fruit and walked towards the balcony. 

From there, he could see how tall the tower was and called out, “I’ll be right down!” He walked over to the door, somehow unlocked now that the dragon wished for his presence, and made his way down the stairs. Once he made it to the bottom the door swung open and the moment he was outside, the door slammed shut.

He jumped away from the door as the blue dragon lifted him with her teeth and carried him towards the main hall. His heart nearly leapt from his chest as she walked them towards the hall. She set him back onto the pile of silks, settled down so that she was blocking him in, and told him, “I want something gentle.” Taking the lute he had before, Scanlan began to play a soft tune that spoke of lost love.

At about midday, he was allowed to take a break. While he sat there, he pulled out the apple from earlier and bit into it. There was something unusual about the flavor but before he could realize what his body froze. His eyes glazed over and the apple fell from his hands as the voice of Audra told him, “It’s unbecoming of a minstrel to attempt to flee his mistress’s employ.  _ Especially _ when she was so gracious to spare his life.”

Nothing in his body was responding. Scanlan felt panic creep into his mind as he realized he was unable to move. He felt the large claw of the blue dragon poke his chest and send him onto his back as her voice rumbled, “Be thankful that  _ this _ is your punishment. I have been known to be  _ far _ more aggressive in my punishments.”

Scanlan strained to break free against whatever he had eaten as shadows covered his body. His heart rate sped up as they brushed against his eyelids, closing them for him, and shifting him so that he was propped up onto a pillow. He heard Audra sigh as she huffed, “And I was hoping to get a few more songs before your punishment kicked in.”

He heard her settle into a pile, the clinking of coins letting him know that she was still there. Scanlan would have sighed if he could as he tried shifting his body even slightly to no avail. A few minutes later, he heard Vex ask, “Scanlan? Are you alright? We think we have a plan.” 

He tried to speak and let out strained noise that lasted no more than a second but she would not hear it. Scanlan tried to twitch his fingers but found that it took too much effort to bother. 

While he laid there, he listened to the earring as his friends put their plan into motion. Occasionally, he would hear them ask if they could see him and it brought him some comfort to know they were not planning on leaving him behind. 

Ten minutes later, while he was still caught in the effects of whatever that apple was afflicted with, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He would have jumped had he been able but, he simply laid there as Vax’s voice whispered, “Shorty, time to go.” 

When he did not respond, Scanlan felt himself being shaken as a worried voice whispered, “Hey! This isn’t the time for games! Scanlan?!” He felt Vax grab his hand and move his hand to his neck, most likely trying to find his pulse. 

Scanlan repeated his earlier efforts and managed to gently squeeze the half-elf’s hand. Had Vax not been searching for any sign of life, he would not have noticed. Thankfully, Vax felt the movement and sighed, “Don’t worry, Shorty. We’re busting you out of here.”

Vax carefully lifted Scanlan from the pile of silks and pulled him close to his chest. Once sure the gnome was safely secured, Vax wove through the piles of gold towards the entrance of the horde. As he ran, the shadows followed him and hissed, “ _ Stay _ !” The rogue ignored them as he ran out of the room and down the staircase.

Behind him, he could still hear the hissing of the shadows as he ran out the front entrance. One shadow moved as though to grab his foot but he leapt away from it and flipped it off. He clutched tightly to Scanlan, his fingers pressing hard against the bard’s body. And threw himself out a nearby window with a loud crash. 

Vax shielded his friend as he landed, bits of glass raining down on top of them, and took off running again. The shadows shrieked in pain from the light as they attempted to trip their quarry. He laughed as he ran towards the entrance and the rest of their friends.

Vox Machina waited for a sign as the sound of shattering glass and a familiar laugh reached them. They stayed at the ready as Vax’ildan threw his friend upwards and shouted, “Keyleth! Catch!” The druid, having already taken the form of an eagle, snatched the limp form of Scanlan and flew high above the fortress’s walls.

From within the fortress, Vox Machina heard a loud roar and the crumbling of stone. They stood ready as the front entrance collapsed and another roar rang through the courtyard, followed by the sound of thunder. Keyleth flew the unmoving form of Scanlan over the group and deposited him in the arms of Grog. The goliath took the gnome’s body and wrapped him into a hug that he did not react to.

Grog paused as he asked, “Scanlan? You alright little buddy?” When Scanlan remained silent he turned to Vax and asked, “What’s wrong with ’im?” The rogue drew his daggers and answered, “Not sure, he’s alive though. Pike, can you heal him?” Already, Pike was pulling Scanlan from Grog’s hug and examining his body.

Grasping her amulet of Sarenrae, Pike found something dark curling inside of Scanlan’s body. She growled as she told the group, “I think I can but I don’t think we have time for that now.” Vex nodded in understanding as Vax suggested, “If you can get him to safety we can kill the dragon without worrying about him. 

Pike hoisted Scanlan’s unmoving body into her arms, gently cradling his neck and tucking an arm beneath his knees, and started to run away from the would-be battleground. As she ran, she heard the roar of the dragon as it shouted, “How dare you pathetic little sneak thieves steal from me!”

As they all unleashed their attacks on the dragon, Pike focused on carrying Scanlan to safety. She found a large boulder to shelter them as she began to investigate what affliction had entered his system. 

Pike removed her gauntlets and pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. She then placed an ear over his chest and heard his heart beating a little slower than it should have. Her hands felt around his head for any suspicious bumps and settled near his neck to check for his pulse. 

Sighing in relief, Pike removed her amulet and hissed as she placed it against his stomach. The sounds of battle faded from her mind as she focused on using Sarenrae’s light to expel the darkness that had taken hold of her friend. 

Scanlan felt a warmth spread through his body as the feeling of Pike’s divine magic pulsed through him. The warmth gathered in his stomach before turning cold and a bit of pain formed. From there, the pain grew and grew until it overtook his form and he could feel his body shaking. 

A gentle hand took hold of his hand and a voice whispered, “It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay.” He choked out a noise as nausea added to the pain and he felt his breakfast creep up his throat. Someone turned him onto his side as he began to retch and the meager contents of his stomach spilled onto the dirt.

As he coughed and puked, a hand rubbed his back comfortingly and pulled him away from the puddle he created. His eyes opened of his own will and he saw the worried face of Pike. He smiled weakly as he remarked, “I must have died ‘cause I see an angel.” She gave him a weak laugh as she asked, “You gonna be okay?”

Scanlan began to wiggle his fingers and answered, “I’m not all the way back but I think I’ll be alright in a moment.” His answer was punctuated with a loud roar of pain from the dragon. Scanlan gave Pike a soft smile and told her, “They’re gonna need your help. Better get in there.” 

Pike glanced at the battle and saw the dragon covered in its own blood as her friends tore into it, looking bloodied and bruised but not ready to collapse. She pulled out her maul and retorted, “They look like they’ve got things under control. You can’t move.”

The battle ended quickly, the desire for repaying the dragon for what she did to their bard a large factor in the time it took. Once the dragon was taken care of, Vox Machina collected their proof and returned to Scanlan’s side. The bard was propped against the boulder as he flexed his fingers and called out, “Watch your step! I seem to have made quite the mess.” 

They all managed to avoid the puddle as Grog asked, “You doing alright buddy?” Scanlan smiled at him, stronger than the ones before, and replied, “Sure am, just need a minute.” Percy smirked and asked, “Can’t get up?” There were snickers from the group as the gnome replied, “First of all, I can always get up. Second of all, I still can’t feel my legs.” 

Grog gave him a huge grin as he eagerly exclaimed, “I can help with that!” The goliath scooped the small gnome into his arms and tucked him close to his chest. Scanlan gave his friend’s chest a pat as he told him, “Thanks for the lift.” 

While Grog cradled his little friend, Vex turned to Pike and asked, “Is he going to be okay?” Pike clutched at her symbol as she replied, “As far as I can tell, there’s going to be lingering effects but given time and rest he’ll be just fine.” 

Vex smiled as she said, “You heard the cleric, he needs rest. Grog can you carry him back to town?” The goliath huffed as he mocked, “Can I carry ‘im, of course I can! Watch!” With that Grog took off running back to town, Vox Machina chasing him down and reminding him to be gentle with their bard.


End file.
